Finding time to date your husband can be hard when little ones are demanding your time. We all know life gets in the way. It gets in the way of doing things we love, going out or just having time to ourselves. And when children come along, life gets even busier. Marriages and relationships can sometime take a back seat to everything that we have going on. So lets find time to date our husband.
In the beginning
Dave and I have been together 17 years and married nearly 13 years, how crazy is that. Life B.C. (before kids) was great. We would go out when we wanted, go to dinner with friends, go to the movies, sit at home and watch movies all weekend. Ahhhh the memories. The we decided to have kids. This is where life actually got really hectic. We had moved to our now home town and Dave worked an hour away. And baby making although that was fun to start with slowly wore us down when we found ourselves on the IVF wagon. Every month was wearing and after a year and 3 failed cycles we actually fell pregnant. 9.5 months later (yep little man was 2 weeks late) we brought a little 9 pound boy home and we thought all our prayers had been answered. OMG were we in for a shock.
Well parenting didn’t exactly come naturally. After 5 long years to bring home a baby we thought it was going to be easy. Sleep deprivation, a baby that refused to breast feed and bottle feed and screamed for 6 months straight was not our idea of fun. And of course this took its toll on any us time or any me time that we had. Where did all those weekend aways, movie night outs, just doing things together go? No idea.
2 years later we then added to the family with a healthy 9 pound baby girl. Boy was she easy, she slept, fed well and just slotted right into life. However little Mr was now in that terrible 2 stage and demanded a lot of attention. No wonder 6 months later mummy ended up on the loony bin train with Post Natal Depression. (but that’s another story) And we still didn’t have any time to ourselves. One of us would have one child while the other had the other child and taking turns to do everything and some days felt like we were just existing.
Fast forward to today
Little Mr is now 5 and little Miss is 3. Boy do we have our hands full. Henry has just started school and Matilda is like a frog in a sock. She does not stay still. But yet some days hubby and I feel like we are just going one day at a time and never really spending any quality time together.
Over the past 5 years we have been away from the kids less than a handful of times. We just don’t feel comfortable leaving the kids. Yes we are fine with the kids staying with family members, we just don’t like burdening them with our kids. We went away for 2 nights 3 years ago for our 10 year wedding anniversary and that was fantastic. We climbed the Sydney harbour bridge and just relaxed and went out to a few fancy restaurants. However it was short lived and reality set back in and back to survival mode.
Dave works from home which is flexible and great for family life however he does work away about 30% of the time. He could be home for a few weeks at a time and then he could be away for a day here or a week there depending on what work entails. I work 4 days a week and then come home and am met with crazy time getting kids fed and into bed before working of Finding Time in the Chaos. So as you can see we just get lost in the day to day and before we know it half of the year has gone.
I turn 40 in a few weeks and we have planned to go away for 2 nights without the kids. I cannot wait. We have planned a romantic getaway in the Hunter Valley of NSW Australia and a Hot Air Balloon ride. And if I have my way some massages. It’s funny we are going to wine country and I don’t drink wine.
Anyway I decided to write this post as I have been trying to work out how that Dave and I can start finding time to do more things together to get ‘us’ back. And not just be caught up in the daily grind.
Date night at home
Once a month have a date night at home. Yes at home. And actually something together. Not one in one room and one in another room, which is usually what happens at our house.
Here are 12 ideas for the next 12 months.
- Play a board game
- Make a massage oil and give each other a massage.
- Turn off all mobile devices and pick a movie you will both enjoy and watch it together snuggled up under a blanket.
- Plan a holiday for just the 2 of you or a family holiday.
- Have a fancy dinner and eat after the kids have gone to bed.
- In the warmer months lay outside in the dark on a comfy blanket and star gaze.
- Roast marshmallow over a fire pit or barbeque.
- Get out the Wii or Playstation and play a game together.
- Go through old photos of when you first got together and make a photo book.
- Get out a pack of cards and play a game from your childhood. Snap any one.
- Make a list of where you both want to be in 5, 10 or 20 years time and really get talking about the future.
- Play all the old songs from when you got together and dance around the house.
Date night out
Every second month plan a night out. Get a baby sitter and go out. To the movies, dinner, a concert
Here are 6 Ideas to help you plan
- Head out for dinner to a favourite restaurant or one you have never been to.
- Take for a walk or hike just the 2 of you.
- Go to the movies and see that movie you really want to see.
- A favourite artist is coming to a venue near you book those tickets.
- Venture out and see the local play or performance.
- Go on a picnic.
Overnight or two getaway
Plan once every 6 months to go away with just the 2 of you. Organise the kids to stay the night at a friends or with family and getaway
Easy, now go and plan. Get the calendar out both sit down and map it out.
I have created a PDF of the list of ideas so no excuse to get that much deserved alone time with your spouse.
Leave me a comment below and let me know how you plan your life.
Happy Dating 🙂